Finally Getting out of the Awkward Teenage Years at 31
I have always been awkward. Unlike everyone else that grew out of it I feel like I continued my awkward teenage years well into my 20’s. And not just physically. Well that too. I am constantly covered in bruises from running into things and you can’t watch me run without laughing at the awkwardness. But socially and mentally I always go back to that awkward girl trying so hard to blend in and not be noticed.
I spent my teenage years blending in and putting in just enough effort to not be great at school but never bad enough that I needed to talk to teachers about extra help. College was spent the same way. Just enough school work to get by. Work and the real life that followed continued the trend. Never showing up early and doing extra work but never late making people wait for me either. I got pretty good at blending in.
And then I met my husband. He challenges me in ways that frustrate me so much but now after almost 10 years of being married I can see why he pushes me. He saw the awesomeness before I did.
I was encouraged by him to take a risk and start a business even if that meant not bringing in a consistent paycheck (and no paycheck for a very long time). We made a lot of decisions based on the fact that we wanted me to be a stay at home mom as long as I could with the kids and not feel pressured to work outside the home which I will forever be grateful for. These years being a mom first have been incredible.
I feel like a lot of women dread 30. I felt a sense of relief. I know who I am now. I go out of my way to stand out instead of putting in so much effort to blend in. I will meet new people, take the kids on adventures, and say yes to as much as I can. Remember when you were 18 and you saw the “old” ladies at the bar dancing like no one was watching? I am that person now. In my early 20’s I would not have been caught dead on the dance floor. Now when I go out I will be the first one out there and more than likely the last to leave.